Estrogen? Check.

Up until the age of 10, my dream in life was to be an entomologist. I didn't actually want to study bugs, I just wanted to play with them all day. In the 4th grade I kept a dead fish in my zip-up binder for a week because I wanted to show my science teacher its air bladder. Even now I pride myself on not being one of "those girls" who freaks every time a cockroach makes its way across the floor.  What happened tonight, then, is a little shameful...

Today was a long day in San Pedro with Elmer, Pascuala, and 9 children + parents (2 of whom, I should point out, yakked during the car ride). When we finally got home around 5:30, I ate the leftovers from my lunch at an incredibly swanky Pizza Hut restaurant in San Pedro for dinner, read a book and then proceeded to quietly and peacefully check my email. I took a break from skype chatting with Holly to kill a baseball-sized beetle, then prepared to shower. As I was signing off, I noticed that the bats were squeaking louder than usual tonight. Actually, it sounded like one bat very near me was becoming more upset by the moment. I happened to glance back at the front door (which was open with only the screen door shut) and there, 6 feet from where I sat, was a bat. A half-grown, angry, blind, squeaking bat. 

Not being one for hysterics, I calmly leaned across, pushed open the screen door and encouraged the bat to exit the building. However, he was so freaked out and strangely flightless that he could only scuttle menacingly across the floor, threatening to enter my home and presumably throw a bat-rave in my dining room. I couldn't stand for that so I slammed the door in his face, squeezing him between the screen door and the solid door. I then returned with a broom and cracked open both doors in a final calm attempt to sweep him out the door. No luck. He panicked and crawled the opposite direction. I, in turn, started letting out what would become a series of screams so high pitched I assume only (ironically) bats could hear them. I decided the best course of action would be to sneak around via the side door and attack from the front porch. 

Broom in hand, I scampered outside and around the side of the house. Leonidas, who keeps watch from the side porch of the other house, heard me leave and was apparently waiting for me to walk up the sidewalk to talk to him. I, however, was already on the front porch, frantically sweeping the bat out of my doorway and down the side steps. Every time my broom touched it, the bat would move in the creepiest crawl I've ever seen, prompting me to scream a little louder and a little higher every time. Leo finally wandered over to see what the commotion was about and promptly wet his pants from laughing so hard. He came down and swept the bat onto the driveway. At this point a large beetle flew into my head and since I was already on red-alert, I did what any self-respecting  21 year old Texas girl who's traveled throughout Central America by herself, worked at summer camp since she was 13, and grown up handling garden snakes would do. I let out what can only be called a blood curdling scream. Danilo, hearing the noise, also wandered over and watched the action from the upstairs porch. 

Leo announced that he would have to kill the bat to prevent the spread of rabies. His options were to shoot it or step on it. He chose the cheaper, easier method and 5 seconds later, there were crushed bat brains on the driveway. As I stood there, wondering at this tiny creature's short life and feeling moderately guilty, something very large and very solid hit the ground in front of me. I shrieked, literally jumped out of my shoes, and made a quick break for the cars before I realized that Danilo (sweet, precious Danilo) had thrown his baseball cap down in front of me, hoping for that very reaction. I started laughing so hard I cried, or crying so hard I laughed, you decide. Danilo and Leonidas then sat around for 5 minutes and made jokes (mostly at my expense) about mother bats coming to avenge their young. 

I make no apologies for sleeping with multiple lights on tonight.